Crow’s Corner

Surviving in a Male-Dominated Hobby

I live in two very different bubbles. One, I have chosen for myself: I have accepting friends, a husband with whom I share care-work equally, I consume progressive and feminist media, books, movies. The other is the rest of the world: I have a degree in engineering, I work in IT, I have hobbies that seem to be male-dominated, at least when looking at public spaces and events. I know how to navigate these spaces, but that does not make me blind to the problems they have. Those spaces shouldn’t have to be navigated at all. They should be open to everyone, without fear and without discrimination.

What I am saying here is not at all new but has been said for decades. Sadly it still needs saying and I will repeat what has been said by so many people before me until we are heard.

A World Built By and For Men

When I was at Spielefest Vienna in 2025, I found myself crossing the Warhammer room and suddenly realized something: in this huge room full of probably over a hundred people, I could count those I didn’t read as male on one hand. Easily. I talked to my friends who played Warhammer, and lo and behold, there is a whole community of women and queer people playing Warhammer! So where are they? Why are they not at events? Why do they keep to themselves? It’s because the world, and by extension the hobby space, is largely built and run by and for men.

So how did this happen? Where are these evil, scheming men, who try to keep us all out?

Usually, nowhere. This is happening out of ignorance, not malice. This is not men versus us. The world isn’t that simple. The world is built by and thus for men, because that is the perspective men see the world from. If nothing bad happens to them, why should they change anything? They accommodate for what they know. And they have been in charge for a long time.

So how do we break this cycle? And who will fight this battle?

We need people in charge that are not men. People who can offer new perspectives. People who can point out what is disadvantageous to them.

We also need people who speak up, who challenge the status quo. People who are vocal, when lines are crossed, when sexist remarks are being said, when people are made to feel uncomfortable, unsafe or unwelcome.

We need to question why a majority of people at events are men. We need to ask people what is keeping them away and then listen to their answer and act upon it.

And all this work should not fall back to only those who are affected.

Women and everyone else outside the accepted norm have fought for their rights probably about forever. And some of us are tired of it. Some of us just can’t anymore. We withdraw from public events. We keep to our own safe groups. We stop being in the spaces that are so blatantly male. Because we don’t feel welcome there and it shouldn’t just fall on our shoulders alone to fight and fight and fight and fight. It’s time for those male spaces to accommodate us instead of us having to fight for every step of the way. This is not a call to give up the fight and wait for society to change on its own. But it is an acknowledgement that the fight is hard and sometimes it’s enough to just survive another day. Sometimes we just don’t go to the convention.

While this is 100% okay to decide on an individual level, I refuse to accept this to be the norm.

Carving our Space

I help organize various tabletop roleplaying events with hundreds of guests every year and the topic is prevalent. If we want all kinds of people to feel and be welcome, all those places need to do the actual work to make that happen. Listen to those who are willing to lend their insight. Have transparent rules and procedures in place to fight discrimination and other negative behaviour. Actually enforce those rules. Have people to approach when you need help. Encourage dialogue and give people easy ways to provide feedback.

And it’s not only about feeling welcome, it’s about safety and feeling safe. I regularly run public games, some of them in large event spaces and some of them in closed rooms, alone. In the latter case, I always bring a friend I trust, often male or male-presenting. Just so I can brave complete strangers playing in my games. Because sometimes having someone else in the room next door is not enough. We need to think about these things when providing (semi-)public spaces to play games in.

There are other factors that keep women away, too, over which we don’t have any influence as the people running games. Women having less time for hobbies because of care-work probably being one of the big ones.

Being an Ally

There are fantastic men in the hobby, too. Only recently I was confronted with a man being outraged about the suggestion to make queer-feminist events and I was moved by the heartfelt support and understanding that I got not only from those I expected it from, but also men I have never met before in my life. These are the men we need more of. Men who speak up. Men who can look beyond their own perception of life. Men who can admit their friends were wrong, instead of blindly defending them. Men who don’t turn a blind eye to the fact that equality has not actually been achieved in society just because it has been in the legal sense (mostly) - at least where I live. Men who go out of their way to comprehend what it means to not be the person society was built to accommodate.

Further Reading and Playing

The easiest way to understand other perspectives is to listen to them. There are countless people sharing their perspectives in various formats and I’ve collected some of those I know and like here. There is definitely a focus on the female perspective here, since that is my personal perspective.

a collection of games and books on feminist and queer topics

Books

Below are some non-fiction book suggestions for those who want to see beyond their own perception of life.

And if non-fiction is not your jam at all, there are also many fiction books written by fantastic people, which reflect experiences beyond the male view. Below are some that I have read and enjoyed.

Tabletop Roleplaying Games

Blogs

Conclusion

There is still much to be done and these problems will sadly only be going away slowly. But I feel up to the task to change things, one step at a time.

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